By Dave Barry
Pulitzer Prize-winning stand-up comedian Dave Barry is a beautiful amiable man. yet in recent times, he is been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so sizzling lower than the collar? good, loads of things-like undesirable public paintings, net millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin ... or even greater difficulties, just like the slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it sounds as if think that the proper lane is sacred and must not ever are available direct touch with tires The parent-misery quotient of last-minute institution technological know-how reasonable initiatives Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe The plague of the low-flow bathrooms, that is so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should buy medicinal drugs simply by establishing your entrance door and yelling "Hey! i need a few crack, "you cannot even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing bathroom Dave Barry isn't really taking any of this sitting down. he'll rise up for the rights of all american citizens opposed to ridiculously named uniqueness "--Chino "coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn bathroom flushed. From the alternate Paperback edition. Read more...
summary: Pulitzer Prize-winning slapstick comedian Dave Barry is a good looking amiable man. yet in recent years, he is been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so scorching below the collar? good, loads of things-like undesirable public artwork, web millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin ... or even higher difficulties, just like the slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it appears think that the perfect lane is sacred and must not ever are available in direct touch with tires The parent-misery quotient of last-minute institution technology reasonable tasks Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe The plague of the low-flow bathrooms, that is so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should buy medicinal drugs simply by beginning your entrance door and yelling "Hey! i need a few crack, "you cannot even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing rest room Dave Barry isn't taking any of this sitting down. he will get up for the rights of all americans opposed to ridiculously named area of expertise "--Chino "coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn rest room flushed. From the alternate Paperback version
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Technically, it is a little blob-shaped guy with buggy eyes and a big nose who goes running through your blood vessel, which is a tube going to your heart, which can be seen smiling in the background. ” If too many cholesterols get stuck, your blood vessel looks like a New York subway train at rush hour, and your heart gets a sad face, and surgeons have to go in there with a medical device originally developed by Roto-Rooter. ” written on it in frosting. FOOD GROUPS YOU CAN EAT: Water (unsweetened), lowfat celery, wood chips.
Today’s Baby Showers Require an Ark to Haul Home the Loot Labor Dispute Voyage of the Stuffed My Workday: Nap, Toenail Inspection, Nap, Underwear Check, Nap About the Author Introduction People often ask me: “Dave, what is the best thing about being a professional humor columnist? ” Then everybody has a hearty laugh, because, of course, I am lying. In fact, that’s one of the great things about being a humor columnist: You can lie! You get PAID to lie! What other profession can say that? OK, lawyers.
The Internet. Confirming a what? As a journalist, you should always carry a notepad because it enables you to: Accurately recall conversations and events. Maintain a record of your research. Remove food wads trapped between your teeth. If you were given the opportunity to ask one question of the Pope, what would that question be? ” You write a column containing a so-called “joke” that is so tasteless, insensitive, juvenile, vicious, and cruel that thousands of readers write or call the newspaper to state that they are deeply offended.